Caussey's Corner

Caussey’s Corner: I Am Losing Everything, Including My Mind

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There was once a time I had a pretty good memory. That seems to be eons ago. Actually, I can’t remember when I began to lose my memory. But at present, I think I’m about to lose my mind. Sometimes I remember to go do something, but before I get there I forget what I have gone for. About the only time I can remember what to do is when I arrive in the bathroom. Although there are generally just two options on the activity list, I can usually recall what sent me there in the first place.

Last week I lost my glasses. It is very difficult to find lost glasses when you can’t see. After looking for about 20 minutes, I realized they were in my shirt pocket. For two days I looked for my cell phone. I went to every place I had been before I discovered it missing, only to find it was in my briefcase where I generally leave it.

This Saturday evening, we had a social engagement. Throughout the day I contemplated what I was going to do and where we were going to go. The problem was I went at the wrong time and to the wrong house. My beautiful wife was very nice about it, but suggested that maybe I wasn’t really focused on what I needed to be doing.

Caussey's Corner: I Am Losing Everything, Including My Mind

Photo: @robinmccauley via Twenty20

The grocery store is a place of intrigue. You can buy just about anything imaginable there. One of my purchases is always ice cream and some fresh fruits. One warm tropical fall afternoon, I bought some vanilla ice cream and strawberries. Then I left them forgotten in the back seat of the truck. I finally got rid of the soured cream smell, but I am not sure the strawberry stains will ever come out of the seat covers.

My son, the chiropractor, encourages me to take certain vitamins for good health and maybe to help improve my memory. But I can’t remember when to take them and when I don’t. One pill is for my prostate, another for healthy bones and joints, and one is a multi-purpose vitamin to guard against vitamin deficiency. Now one of those pills has something to do with making something small and soft for better health, which seems like an oxymoron for most fellows. But I can’t remember which pill it is or what organ it is supposed to protect.

In each of my classes I appoint an assistant to help me. Most of the time, the student helps me to locate things I have lost or simply misplaced. Lost items most often are found on the desk, in the drawer, or sequestered away in my briefcase. Many times I have to move the lost item out of the way in order to look for it, or another lost item.

Caussey's Corner: I Am Losing Everything, Including My Mind

Photo: @Artfully79 via Twenty20

Yesterday I was late to work because I couldn’t find my car keys. After a thirty-minute episode of looking every conceivable place, I found them in the backdoor lock. Hanging there where I had let myself in late the night before. Fortunately the door leads to the garage so not much of a security violation was breached.

I used to worry about this memory thing, but lately just attribute it to the march of time or old age.  Each day I get older and lose millions of brain cells, with most appearing to be the ones that cling to my memory. I started taking note of friends and colleagues around me to see if they are having these same lapse of memory problems. These are some of the lost memory episodes that have occurred recently.

I have a beautiful, youthful college dean who lost her building keys for several days, only to find them down under the backseat of her car. In the last two weeks I have had two students lock their keys in their cars prior to class. Saw one of the male teachers walk into the ladies restroom, re-appearing shortly looking rather embarrassed.

Caussey's Corner: I Am Losing Everything, Including My Mind

Photo: @Mehaniq via Twenty20

A lady friend left a meeting one evening with her forgotten purse perched on the top of her car. A good person retrieved it with everything left intact. At a recent political rally, the person for whom the event was being held was late because he forgot the time and place of the event. And this guy wants to help America lead the free world.

I hope you can identify with some of these perplexities of losing one’s memory. I also want to apologize for not running this earlier, but I wrote it some time ago and forgot to submit it. In fact, this column may have already been published.

Durhl Caussey is a syndicated columnist who writes for papers across America. He may be reached at this outlet or [email protected].