Caussey's Corner

Caussey’s Corner: A Humorous Look at Aches and Pains

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Mornings are always refreshing, and looked forward to with great anticipation, but also with a recipe of mixed anxiety.

I usually lie in bed a few minutes watching sunlight filter through the bedroom curtains, or listening to welcomed raindrops or gusty wind. All while doing mental calisthenics in hopes of sending subtle messages to my body, warning that it will shortly be commanded to move and fulfill an obligation of activities that has occurred for over seven decades.

Wiggling my toes is the first exercise and always meets with success. Then I turn my head, stretching my neck to rid the kinks that may have lodged there during the night. So far everything is generally okay, but it is a long way from your shoulders to your toes.

Caussey's Corner: A Humorous Look at Aches and Pains
Photo: envato elements

I roll onto my right side because movement causes a terrible pain in the left shoulder. The pain pauses in that shoulder, as I work my left arm by raising it high into the air. The shoulder seems to ventilate and then drips pain into the left elbow. The doctor says I have tennis elbow, which is an interesting diagnosis since I have never played the game once in my life.

Now the trending occurs. With the left shoulder and elbow hurting, the left knee joins the crescendo of agony, tempting me to wish all my limbs were on the right side. On occasion, the left knee nuzzles and whispers something to the right one, causing it to attempt a swelling fit, while screaming at the top of its little knee voice for the Ben Gay.

Why do things like this have to happen to me, and I suppose many other folks in my age bracket? Is my past so hideous that I am being punished in the present? I have not raped, pillaged or plundered, or lived in the camp of the Huns or sailed with the Vikings, but feel as though the maker of pain has sworn an oath to believe such accusations.

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