Obituary Confessional: Utah Man Admits to Crimes and Lies

By THC Staff | August 10, 2016

 

While suffering from throat cancer, Val Patterson, 59,  wrote his own obituary. What he left behind was more than a tearful essay about his life. In fact, he wrote a shocking, yet funny, confession!

In his obituary published in the Salt Lake Tribune, he wrote, “As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest.”

That wasn’t the only criminal activity he embarked upon. He also failed to correct an important title that was mistakenly awarded to him.

Val wrote, “I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U[niversity] of U[tah], the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about three years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters ‘PhD’ even stood for.”

Val’s wife, Mary Jane, confirmed his juicy confessions. Sweetly, he called her “remarkable” and “beloved” in his obituary. Perhaps most importantly, his love for her was completely genuine.