You are so Handsome: Girl Scout Cookies and a Tough Sale

That Saturday was a gray, blustery day. It wasn’t cold enough to see your breath, but wintry aromas were carried on chilly winds.

My mission was clear. Since our guests would arrive promptly at 6 p.m. this evening, I had just eight hours to select a roast for dinner, help clean the house, and prepare the dinner meal.

My favorite grocery store in the whole world is the Tom Thumb on Cedar Ridge in Duncanville. Their broad selection of meats and abundance of fresh vegetables make the store the perfect place to shop for dinner.

I skidded into the parking lot, dismounted from the truck, and faced the sharp, misty winds, dressed in a short-sleeved shirt and jeans.

The wind harassed me through the parking lot, until arriving at the store’s entrance. Off to the right, my peripheral vision caught movement speeding toward me. It was a young girl, buried deep within a parka. She asked if I wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies. My negative response spilled out of trembling lips through chattering teeth.

“No, thank you,” I said. “I purchased some cookies last week from a little neighbor girl.” My gravely voice and sarcastic tone startled me.

Thirty minutes later, with a roast and vegetables in a plastic bag, I exited the front entrance, striving to reach the truck before my feet were robbed of feeling. Again the parka-covered girl appeared.

Photo: Pexels

But I was ready this time. Before she could speak, I said, “Look, I told you I don’t need any GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.”

“Oh, that’s okay, sir,” she said, her voice rising from somewhere inside the furry hood, protected by blue eyes and flushed red cheeks. “I just wanted to say how handsome you are. I noticed you earlier, when you first came by. But you got away before I could tell you.”

“Handsome, handsome,” I said to myself. Why, no one has ever called me handsome before. Once I was called cute, but that was in a moment of lustful intent. I can’t actually count that as being called handsome. Besides, I’m not sure what she was referring to when she used the word “cute.”

Wow! I had been declared handsome. Suddenly the January wind didn’t feel quite as cold. On my arms, chill bumps scattered like Easter chicks from high-flying hawks. The redness in my cheeks came not from the cold, but a fast-beating heart, stimulated by the kindness of a young girl.

“Well, uh, thank you,” I said. Embarrassing seconds passed before I heard my voice ask, “How much are these cookies anyway?”

“Oh no, Sir, please, you don’t have to buy my cookies,” she said.

“No, no, I really do. Girl Scout cookies go great with roast beef and broccoli.”

Photo: Pixabay

“They are $5 a box, Sir, but really you don’t need to buy any,” she said.

“Please, please, let me buy some of your cookies.”

“Well, okay, but only if you want to.”

“I do, I do.”

“Well, we have eight varieties: Samoas, Thin Mints, Tagalongs, Aloha Chips, Trefoils, All Abouts, Do-si-dos, and Ole.”

“Which one do you like, young lady?”

“Oh, I like them all. Ole Ole are reduced fat, Tagalongs are made with peanut butter, and Trefoils are old-fashioned shortbread.”

“Okay, I’ll take one of each.”

“Are you sure, Sir?”

“Please, please let me buy eight boxes.”

“Okay, that will be $40. Thank you, Sir.”

“Thank you, young lady. I really needed some Girl Scout cookies.”

Upon arriving home, I found my neighbor in her yard. Now that I knew I was handsome, I decided to see if she were aware of that fact. I got out of the truck and ask her if she noticed anything about me? “Yes,” she said. “You have about 50 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, and your broccoli is falling out of the plastic bag.”

Her response didn’t hinder me. I knew I was handsome, having been declared so by an 11 year-old Girl Scout. Besides, I like that Scout motto, “Always tell the truth, except when selling Girl Scout cookies. Then streeeetch it out.”

Retired educator Durhl Caussey is a sucker for flattery…and for Girl Scouts selling cookies!