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Hank Hill or Cordell Walker? King of the Hill Vs. Walker, Texas Ranger

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If you had to name the most iconic fictional Texan of all time, it would end up as a showdown between two equally beloved characters: Hank Hill, of the animated TV series King of the Hill, and Cordell Walker, of the long-running action series Walker, Texas Ranger. Let’s take a look at the fictional biographies of these two stoic Texans and see just how they measure up side by side.

Henry Rutherford Hill, born on April 19, 1954, lives in Arlen, Texas, with his wife Peggy and son Bobby. He takes great pride in his work as Assistant Manager at Strickland Propane where he “sells propane and propane accessories, I tell ya what.” His favorite way to relax is by drinking beer with his buddies Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer in the alley behind his ranch-style house. A proud Texan, Hank was horrified and sickened to discover that he was, in truth, born in New York City—and at Yankee Stadium, no less! Hank takes comfort in the fact that the heroes of the Alamo weren’t born in Texas either.

Hank Hill or Cordell Walker? King of the Hill Vs. Walker, Texas Ranger

Photo: Facebook/King of the Hill

Cordell Walker was born on December 30, 1947. After his parents were murdered, young Walker grew up under the care of his paternal uncle, an American Indian by the name of Ray Firewalker. Sometime in the mid-1960s, Walker joined the U.S. Marine Corps and went to Vietnam. He was also stationed in Japan, and it was there that he became friends with Mr. Sakai, who taught Walker martial arts, a skill that would prove invaluable in his future crime-fighting days.

Hank Hill is an Eagle Scout. He was a running back on his high school football team and led the league in rushing (his record remains unbroken, by the way). He has won the Propane Salesman of the Year Award for three years running, in addition to the prestigious Blue Flame of Valor Award. Hank’s greatest skill is certainly his rock-solid reliability. Friends and family know they can turn to Hank when they have a problem no one else can solve.

Hank Hill or Cordell Walker? King of the Hill Vs. Walker, Texas Ranger

Photo: Facebook/Chuck Norris

After mustering out of the Marines, Cordell Walker kept up his martial arts practice and competed in kickboxing tournaments, eventually becoming a champion. At some point, he decided on a career in law enforcement and ultimately became a Texas Ranger, achieving the rank of sergeant. He serves with the Dallas-Fort Worth-based Company B Ranger Division. Walker stands 5 ft. 10 in. tall and is well-muscled. He carries a Beretta 92 and drives a Dodge Ram (in fact, Walker drives with enough skill to have once substituted for a NASCAR team when its driver was injured).

Hank Hill is tall but somewhat overweight due to his love for meat and beer. He stands 6 ft. 2 in. tall and weighs anywhere from 180 to 220 pounds throughout the series. He drives a red Ford Super Duty, a replacement for his beloved original pickup, a red extended-cab Ford Ranger. Both pickups have manual transmissions. Despite loving firearms and all things firearms related, in one episode Hank demonstrated a phobia regarding target shooting which severely impacted his ability as a marksman. This fear rose from a childhood incident when his father, WWII hero Cotton Hill, mocked and browbeat him while the boy was firing a rifle for the first time. However, Hank isn’t afraid of physical combat. When the situation calls for it, he’s known to tell enemies and troublemakers “I’m gonna kick your ass!” And on more than one occasion, he’s followed through with that threat.

Hank Hill or Cordell Walker? King of the Hill Vs. Walker, Texas Ranger

Photo: Facebook/King of the Hill

Walker might beat Hank in the skills department.  Of course, Walker is well-known for his martial arts expertise. In hand to hand combat, no criminal in the Lone Star State can best him. He’s also been known to employ brutal interrogation methods without flinching. In addition, Walker is an expert sharpshooter and tracker. He can employ Cherokee skills to sneak up on opponents without alerting them to his presence and can even converse with animals to a limited degree. The closest people in Walker’s life are his Ranger partner James Trivette (a former Dallas Cowboys player), grizzled veteran Ranger C. D. Parker, and Tarrant County Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cahill. Walker and Alexandra would go on to become husband and wife later in the series and have a daughter named Angela in 2001.

So in conclusion, both Hank Hill and Cordell Walker are stoic, hard-working Texas family men. They both do their best to uphold what they believe to be their end of the social contract. Neither of them is willing to tolerate excessive troublemaking, and they won’t hesitate to put a stop to a dangerous situation. Walker could probably beat Hank in a fight with one of his famous roundhouse kicks, but Hank is likely the wiser of the two and probably easier-going as well. Ultimately the decision comes down to readers: which Texas character would you want to have a beer with?